A new review!!  Smucker’s Uncrustables are a childhood memory of mine, and they seem to have expanded since I was young.  The general premise is a simple sandwich, such as peanut butter and jelly, manufactured as a sealed pouch without the crust.  It’s designed to appeal to kids who avoid eating the crusts of their bread, an issue I struggled with a long time ago.  The Uncrustables line has expanded to include peanut butter alone, multiple kinds of jelly and jam, and most notably, a microwaveable grilled cheese option.

An Uncrustable, of the Strawberry Jam variety.

I sampled both the Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam, and Grilled Cheese Uncrustables.  Let’s start with the bad news first.  The Grilled Cheese sandwich really doesn’t work.  It’s stored frozen, and supposed to be microwaved for between 30 seconds and one minute in a crisping sleeve.  When microwaved for 30 seconds, the sandwich is still frozen inside.  After a minute, it has burst, and the cheese is leaking.  45 seconds is really the best bet, and even then it’s mostly soggy.  The cheese inside tastes quite artificial, and not a good imitation at that.  Overall, it’s at best an idea whose time has not yet come, and at worst a mess which should be avoided.

The PB&J was a lot better.  While it was also stored frozen, it only required being thawed at room temperature.  Both the peanut butter and jam were pretty good.  I don’t have much more to say; it was a perfectly fine peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  All varieties of Uncrustables retail for about $2.50 for a box of four sandwiches.  While this isn’t too expensive, it’s much more cost-efficient to simply buy the ingredients and make your own.  On the other hand, the people Uncrustables are marketed towards (read: kids) are probably not going to take this review into account.  🙂


Over the weekend, I had a couple different sandwiches in preparation for reviews this week, but something caught my attention, something which must be addressed: The KFC Double Down.  I initially thought it to be an elaborate April Fool’s prank, but the actual photographic evidence online seems to indicate otherwise.  According to the website, the Double Down consists of bacon, Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheeses, and Colonel’s sauce sandwiched between two boneless chicken breasts.  Yes, there is no bread in this sandwich.

The End Times are upon us!!!

First of all, any product which you must explicitly explain is not a parody is probably not the best idea.  This concept has been used extensively in stand up acts and primetime comedy (30 Rock comes to mind), but to my knowledge this is the first honest-to-goodness real life example.  To me, this seems like wretched excess, a travesty parading around in the trappings of a legitimate sandwich. 

Granted, I haven’t tried it yet.  When the Double Down arrives (on April 12th, as all the advertising makes sure to tell us), I’ll be sure to give it a proper review.  I only hope that this “sandwich” will be an odd little footnote in sandwich history, rather than a sign of things to come.